Of Demons and Darlings

It’s been almost month since the Caps were so perfectly poised to bury one of those exhaustively referenced playoff demons. That particular hell-spawn was the memory of 2-0 and 3-1 series leads lost (the 2-0 specifically being the winning of two opening road games), typically while being the underdog. The beating of the underdog Rangers, who had taken those two very series lead against the higher-seeded, mostly favored Caps, went a long way to washing the vile tastes of 1995, 1996, and 2003 from our mouths (amongst others).

In a season seemingly dead-set on giving the franchise a fresh start in its post-season history, it was perhaps only appropriate that the one-time consensus Eastern Conference Champion New Jersey Devils would so gloriously choke away a lead with just over a minute left in Game 7 to give the Caps a second round date with the Pittsburgh Penguins. The “coincidence” of this event happening just moments after sageful Sergei Fedorov had buried the Rangers in the Caps own Game 7 should not be ignored.

So yes, the Capitals can expunge another painful part of their past tonight by improving the franchise’s playoff record against the Pens to 2-6. Be ready to hear that record screamed incessantly by insecure Iron City drunkards should their vaunted squad be defeated. Nothing like ancient history to salve the wounds of the present.

A win tonight makes us forget silly things like OT penalty shot pucks skipping playfully around Joe Juneau’s stick and harmlessly into the waiting pads of Ken Wregget, buzz-killing 7-0 Game 1 defeats on home ice, wackily deflected OT goals, Petr Nedved, and, yes, seemingly commanding series leads lost.

There is even more at stake, however. The Caps can do the rest of the league and hockey fans outside of the Pittsburgh/West Virginia area a huge favor tonight in vanquishing those darling Penguins, that team never lacking for a pep talk from whatever hockey pundit feels a warmth in his bosom for Sidney Crosby on any given day.

It’s a chance for the Caps to rescue us all, at least for five months, from a world where any mildly irritating, NHL-decreed-destiny-defying setback for the Pens is characterized as “adversity” (also known as “losing a game” or “incurring a penalty” for any other team), which of course is eventually “overcome”, where any Pens’ minor success is lauded as “resiliency”, where another manifestation of Sid’s petulant, entitled-brat schtick in complaining about hat-trick hats is characterized as the Pens captain being ”ever the competitor”, where instances of trash-throwing on DC ice are met with disdain and instances of the same in Pittsburgh are ignored, where the true resiliency of a Caps' rookie goaltender is questioned even as his counterpart in black and gold allows one laughable goal after another, and where increasingly tired arguments (some admittedly presented here) of which fanbase/organization has more “class”, which team posesses more loyal, less-bandwagony fans, or which team boasts more whiners, fall almost unanimously in favor of the Penguins. It's the Caps on the short end of these arguments now, but a Pittsburgh victory and it will soon be the Bruins/Hurricanes or Ducks/Red Wings/Blackhawks/any team daring to stand in the way of Gary Bettman reverently handing Sid a trophy.

This is the monster the Caps can slay tonight, along with their oft-mentioned demons, and oft-mentioned (usually snarkily) ancient history with the Penguins, a history with which exactly zero current Capitals were involved in any way (regular resident of the healthy scratch list Michael Nylander doesn’t count). It's a chance for a fresh start for us all.

Beat the Penguins, save the (hockey) world.

Hope and Sanity From...

The Penguins seem to officially be darlings again, almost unanimously picked to advance past the speed-bump Capitals. Remember when the Pens were going to miss the playoffs, and we were all ready to be spared from having to hear Sidney Crosby and his enabler hockey pundits talk about “overcoming adversity” or “facing adversity”, perhaps the most over-used phrases (with “it is what it is” coming in a close second) in all of sport? Those were nice days, days in which we might have dreamed of the Pens merely being relegated to talk of moves to Kansas City, days in which they might have again been abandoned by their supposed non-fairweather fans, who are of course superior to the all-bandwagon crowd filling Verizon Center.

However, in all of the renewed christening of the golden boy and his golden team, there may be a voice of sanity in the unlikely mulleted form of Barry Melrose. We all remember Barry, right? He made a trip to Washington mere days before his 16-game tenure behind the Tampa Bay Lightning bench ended. Well, over at 5-hole.com, amidst a summary of overwhelming predictions of a second-round Penguins’ triumph vs. the Capitals, Barry and Pierre LeBrun stand alone as the only prognosticators willing to vouch for at least the possibility of a Washington victory.

What’s the point, you might rightfully ask? Well, a look back at predictions for Round 1 of the playoffs will reveal Melrose as the only one out of 18 expert predictors (including a monkey, who, incidentally, likes the Caps’ chances) who forecast Anaheim to knock off presumed Cup finalist San Jose. So he predicted, so it came to pass (and note the Capitals vs. Capitals phenomenon amidst the Yahoo! experts).

Maybe this guy is on to something. Maybe he knows something the rest of the expert hockey-predicting world doesn’t. Maybe he realizes that just because a #2 seed took a game or two longer than expected to knock off a #7 seed which possessed one of the East’s best defenses (if one of the worst offenses) and a goalie with series-stealing capability (as we were many, many, many times told), it doesn’t necessarily mean they are doomed by the prospect of facing Brooks Orpik and M-A F.

So, thank you, Barry (and, to a lesser degree, Pierre, since you predicted it would take the full seven games for the Caps to advance and face the Hurricanes in a paradox-causing all-SE-Division Conference Finals), for not falling blindly into another premature coronation of the Penguins. Your prediction is a refreshing WAS in an otherwise bleak world of PIT.

Quests For, and Away From, Zero

Here's a pressing question for you , one that has been on my mind for
several days, as I watch a supposedly wretched baseball team put forth
solid effort after solid effort, and a supposedly imminently dynastic,
hype-prophecy-fulfilling hockey team completely flame out during its
birthrighted time of glory: will the Nats' Jason Bergmann be scored
upon before the Penguins score? It's a tough one, given the recent rarity
of both occurances. Bergmann is up to 19+ scoreless innings after his
brief motivational jaunt in the minors, while the Pens have scored as
many goals during the Finals as they would score runs batting against
Bergmann.

Bergmann's efforts have thus far earned him but a single post-minors
win, given some untimely bullpen pitching and some still-struggling-but-showing-signs-of-rising hitting. Elijah Dukes comforably over .100 at last, Ryan Zimmermanb toying with .300 for the month, Lastings Milledge with an actual key RBI double, Dmitri re-familiarizing himself with the clutch hit (a home run, at that), Aaron Boone continuing to intimately know the home run, Jesus Flores helping to bury Paul Lo Duca on the depth chart: all good signs. All good signs that will translate to wins for Bergmann and the Nats as he continues his quality play.

Can the same be said for Pittsburgh? Are there positive signs they can
look to in their Quest From Zero? Perhaps, if the ever-poutful mug of
Sidney Crosby (brought to you by Versus after every Red Wings' goal),
the cheapshot-doling of Gary Roberts, and the complete disappearance
of Evgeni "better than Ovechkin" Malkin are seen as positives, and not
signs of a frustrated team shocked by the audasity of someone standing
in the way of their critically ordained prize. We look forward to more
frustration en route to a sweep, followed by off-season and next-season speculation by Canadian media that pending RFA Malkin will sign with Montreal, Toronto, etc.

The Pens are up next in their thus-far vain attempt to escape zero.
Whether they can do so before Bergmann has the chance to extend his
string of zeroes is an even-money bet at this point.

DCO Pardons, Endorses Red Wings

It’s understandable if some Caps’ fans hesitate a tad in fully getting behind the Red Wings to win the Stanley Cup, even with their opponent being so foul a team as the Penguins. After all, the Red Wings methodically swept away the Capitals’ only trip to the Finals ten years ago. Those who followed each game of the series of course know it was one of the most competitive sweeps of all time, with its three one-goal games (including that really, really almost-had-it OT Game 2 in Detroit) featuring lots of non-rolling-over by the supposedly overmatched Caps (remember sneers of “Detroit in three”?).

Still, despite this cruel dispatching, I personally never felt the animosity towards the Red Wings I did towards the other Washington playoff opponents that year. The volcanic Pat Burns was enough to grate on the nerves of any non-Bruins fan in the first round. The Sabres will always hold a sour place in my heart for the highly contentious Conference Finals. The memories: Matthew Barnaby and his water-bottle-throwing tantrums; Lindy Ruff’s non-stop whining regarding every perceived injustice heaped on his poor put-upon team by those mean Capitals and meaner officials; the constant darling-ism heaped upon Dominik Hasek by Darren Pang. Remember how crestfallen Pang sounded with his sighing “Congratulations to the Capitals” after Joe Juneau beat Pang’s deity in OT of Game 6?

I’m sure there was some (now forgotten) aspect of the Senators that caused me to dislike them in their brief five-game appearance in Round 2 as well. But, as I mentioned, it was the Red Wings that never really irritated me like the rest. It was kind of like: nothing personal, we just have to professionally do our job and win the Cup, even if this is Dale Hunter’s last real chance ever. So they weren’t that bad. Besides, it’s hard to stay mad at a city that has blessed us for so many years with the Lions.

However, for those fans still understandably holding a bit of a grudge, DCO hereby extends a full pardon to the Detroit Red Wings for their actions in the spring of 1998. We do this to enable a guilt-free supporting of Detroit as they look to vanquish the hype-encrusted blight that is the Penguins. The latest incarnation of such hype: the predictable-yet-still-offensive call for Sidney’s coronation as Conn Smythe king before a single second of the Finals has been played. It’s inevitable, of course, that he wins this award if the Pens win the Cup (perhaps even if they don’t), even if his meager goal-scoring rate continues. It’s as pre-scripted into NHL “legend” as the Manning boys winning Super Bowl MVPs was for the NFL. The making of a good “story” (in this case, the heralded “Next One” leading his team to a championship, fulfilling the prophecy) overshadows other (more) deserving candidates, even perhaps those on a winning (Detroit) team. Storyline over merit.

So here’s the storyline DCO is behind: Detroit in 4, or 5, or 6, or 7. Whatever it takes.

We Can Get Through This

If you’re like me, you saw your worst NHL playoff nightmare come to fruition this past weekend with the coming of a Penguins-Flyers Eastern Conference Finals, and you’ll be downright tortured by the implications of Friday’s Game 1. One of these two reviled franchises will be playing for their opportunity to soil the Stanley Cup. It’s a conundrum. Who to root for? Better put: who to root against?

Traditionally, my ire is directed at the Penguins above all others, with the Flyers coming in a close second. A nasty little playoff series, however, can shift (dis)loyalties. Thus the question is further muddled: do I now hate the Flyers more given a contentious Conference Quarterfinals round that included a goalie-interferring Game 7 goal followed by a disputed-power-play Game 7 OT goal? Does such a thing override my years-long hate affair with the Penguins and cause me to hope they knock out the deserving-of-a-knockout Flyers? Or do I dare hope (even indirectly) that the Penguins go down and Lord of the Spear Danny Briere gets the chance to put his elfin cheap-shotting hands on the Cup?

It might appear a no-win situation. On the one hand we would have to hear from louty Philly fans for likely decades should they even make it to the Finals, and the team that brought their booing, coach-firing-calling fans a ten-game losing streak in the regular season would be waved in our faces as evidence of Philadelphia’s superiority in everything. On the other, possibly larger, hand, we have the prospect of goal-less-in-Round-2 Sidney Crosby and his slew-legging sidekick Evgeni Malkin playing for Stanley.

Here is where the daunting rooting situation receives a cold dose of clarifying. The Penguins must not be allowed to advance. The gaggingly awful vision of Briere being within spitting distance of the Cup pales with the downright daunting spectre of darlings Crosby, Malkin, et al being similarly so. You think Sid apologists are spinning crazily now in telling us how his zero goals in Round 2 and two playoff goals overall (one in an empty net) are practically heroic? Wait until he “leads” the Penguins into the Finals with a few more of his secondary assists specialties (throwing the puck blindly into the crease, often backhanded to further show his superior “vision”). The only thing worse could be rising darling Malkin scoring a few more points and avoiding a few more suspensions, a la conference semi-final disappointment LeBron James, thereby catapulting himself into ill-begotten Gretzky comparisons.

The coming days will be trying, as we see one of these wretched teams and fanbases celebrate a conference title and a trip to the Finals. The days following that will be all the more difficult, as one will be but four victories away from the Cup. In those days the Stars or Red Wings will never have been more precious to me. It will not be easy, seeing all of this. But the day will come when Gary Bettman beckons Chris Clark to get the Stanley Cup, which he will raise before 18,200+ at Verizon Center before handing it off to alternate captains (and co-Conn-Smythe winners) Alexander Ovechkin and Donald Brashear. On that day, the painful realization of a Pennsylvania team playing for the Cup will be but an awful-but-distant memory (like that whole Detroit sweep of the Flyers in 199-whatever; see, I’ve forgotten it).

Already in this not-necessarily-bleak offseason we’re seeing signs of hope, whether it be the stated openness of Cristobal Huet, he of the gaudy playoff-sealing goaltending stats, to remain with the Capitals, or the team’s wise desire to retain the services of sage-like Sergei Fedorov. Not a bad starting goaltender and third-line center to lead a Cup-lifting team. And finally, our long national Jaromir Jagr nightmare will be over, freeing up badly needed Ted Leonsis bucks to further cultivate this contender-in-waiting. Speaking of Jagr, possibly my favorite quote from him, ever (in a positively bafflingly way), when he was talking about his past and his future following the Rangers’ ousting from the playoffs: "Everybody doubted me when I was playing in Washington for whatever reason." Jaromir, Jaromir, Jaromir, where would we begin? We appreciate you yelling at Crosby to “get up” after one of his patented dives, but you’re still deluded.

So yes, these Eastern Conference Finals will suck. But we’ve been through worse. We’ve seen multiple Cowboys’ Super Bowl victories (and the Giants last year). We’ve seen the Eagles come close to getting one of their own (before faltering and keeping intact their 0-for-forever streak). We’ve endured the Rangers and Devils hoisting their own Cups. I suffered very closely first-hand through three Yankees’ championships in four years while at college in New York. So yes, its bad, but we can get through this.

Hands Off, Betttman, et al

While it's not exactly Washington-sports-related, DCO nevertheless would like to commend Yahoo! Sports writer Dan Wetzel for his excellent column today on the NHL playoffs. To summarize: he says don't mess with the overtime. Just because NBC broke away pre-overtime from the Sabres-Senators game in favor of the thrilling Preakness pre-race special, that doesn't mean it's time to start considering again ill-begotten "solutions" to the playoff overtime "problem". Would NBC have been more likely to stick with the game if the teams started overtime playing 4-on-4, or if they went to a shootout after an overtime or two? Doubtful. The lure of that pony money would still be there.

Four-on-four overtime is fine for the regular season. We can even grudgingly accept shootouts instead of hard-fought ties. But back off when it comes to the playoffs, even if the games stretch into the morning hours (which, as Wetzel points out, they don't do as often as some would have us believe). As a hockey fan and a Caps fan, and as a survivor of April 24, 1996, I truly hope Commissioner Gary Bettman does not continue to desperately grasp for the mass-media respect that hockey is never going to get by implementing such rules. Even though Petr Nedved ruined a perfectly mesmerizing game of hockey 11 years ago by scoring late in the fourth overtime, I would rather have seen the game as I had rather than seen it decided by the three best shooters on each team plus the goalies.

It's true what Wetzel wrote: every rush up the ice that night by the Penguins filled the arena (at least the portions not occupied by Pittsburgh fans) with tension, and every possession by the Caps brought the hope that it would be over (for the better) in a matter of seconds. Double those feelings on a power play for either side. That's a few dozen swings in emotion over the course of a 20-minute period. Exhausting to watch, and even more so to play? That's the game.

So thanks, Dan, for refuting Kara Yorio's overtime defeatist column from last month. One of her arguments actually, in retrospect, shows the foolishness of ever allowing the shootout to appear in the NHL, under the slippery slope category: "If the shootout is a good enough way to decide how teams get into the playoffs, then it should be a good enough way to decide who wins the games once they're there." We would argue: if it's a mediocre-to-bad idea in the regular season, it's an absolutely dreadful idea in the post-season.