Monday, April 21, 2008

Wizards to Schedule Playoff Games During Your First Child's Birth

Seriously, wtf Abe?

Apparently, unbeknownst to the dude owning like 49% of the team, the Wizards will AGAIN be playing a playoff game AT THE EXACT SAME TIME as the Caps tonight, just as they did Saturday night, to which I had to receive text updates of the Wiz score from the incomparable Fredy while I participated in another friggin' awesome red-out at Verizon. If I had known that the Wiz were to be playing their first playoff game simultaneously, I might have thought to stay home and thus miss Verizon Center's tribute to the DC Optimist through its playing of "UWay" after a glorious third period Cristobal save. Holy validation! I am correct to assume that the brilliant minds on display at the Verizon Center, having pieced together such brilliance as the opening playoff vid punctuated with the Dale Hunter SWOTGWG at the end, happened upon our blogspot, noted the awesomeness and the resulting burrowing effect of the song into their subconscious, and then played it for the rest of the Caps fanaticals, thus boosting their enjoyment factor 10-fold? I only hope that when the cup is hoisted, I am given at least one trip around the rink after Milan Jurcina's turn. Just kidding, I guess full access to the locker room whenever we wanted was reward enough.

So yeah, what exactly happened at the Wiz game Saturday? Apparently, Deshawn "Man" Stevenson was crazy accurate with his shot, and he kept Lebron James in check almost all game! Gilbert played, Caron, reading from a box score sure doesn't breed pertinent analysis like actually viewing live footage would. But the guys who both schedule Wizards games and serve to profit from them seem to think that since I enjoy basketball, I care not about local hockey teams. But these wealthy individuals would be wrong. Despite what Ivan Carter keeps carping about regarding the regal lameness of a Wizards game-event, this city loves all five of its sporting teams, especially when they participate in playoff action! Wouldn't it be lovely if we could participate in watching them at a time in which we could fully view them without the aid of DVR (which I don't have thanks to Comcast's gouging rates causing me to eat Ramen noodles three days a week just so I can see Phil Chenier's glorious 'stache in high-def)? I bet the people who both own and schedule the Wizards and the Capitals games may think that because I enjoy watching hockey in person for a substantially larger fee than normal, I also don't care for the rap music, right? Why can't the people who stand to earn significant sums of dough from my enjoyment of both of their sports see that I, and many of the 40-plus per day readers of this site both enjoy the Capitals' playoffitude, and the Wizards' playoffitude. The Verizon Center technical reps understood, thus their installation of "UWay" into the arena song cannon (obviously replacing the heinous "Good Ole Hockey Game"). Why can't the folks who own that building and fund those brilliant minds see that as well?


For the last portion of this post, I would like to abstain from further negativity and instead celebrate the contributions of the dude whose namesake is this blog's title (which kind of confused some people, as it is a two-headed monster, but one whose namesake invokes just one participant). This blog was born out of the DC Optimist's brilliant mind and fed uppedness with local sports coverage and its lack of positivity. He managed to take a lackadaisical lackey on with a sorta-cute name and an obsession with the internet and let him express his thoughts in a manner that impressed his mother and aunt, both frequent readers, and got the attention of people who matter. This blog has been a wondrous outlet for my creative spellingz and wordingz and to have people actually reference it, as I repeat, THE VERIZON CENTER DID DURING A PLAYOFF GAME SATURDAY, is a magnificent feeling, one that could not have been felt without the steady contributions of the actual DCO. I truly feel like the Semin to his Ovie. Especially when I disappear for like two or three weeks trying to find some clever way to incorporate my love of crime novels, rap music and boxing into some post about Lorenzo Alexander. 80% of the good stuff came from him, and as if there wasn't enough self-fellation going on around here recently, I felt like with his departure to Yankee-Met-whoever is winning country, a bit of this blog will vanish up there with him and Mrs. DCO and thus more tribute should be paid.


But fear not, tism-hounds, I (promise) to step up my blog-game as these playoff series become more intense (and congruently shown on television)! I will be flipping betwixt both broadcasts tonight and will detail my finest feelings in a manner that properly encapsulates some sort of originality, praise, analysis, jokes, and fun you've come to expect from the DC Optimist, but will have to receive from his sidekick (and Semin has been pretty freakin' awesome this series no? BTW: Here's a preview of tomorrow's post, Semin's punching in the face of Danny "lil [**female dog curse word**]" Brierre earns him Conn Smythe honors).

Stay Tuned (unless it is being broadcasted simultaneously with something else you enjoy).


Truth About It said...

As much as I like to blame Abe Pollin for many things (such as his greed and not his concern for violence in changing from Bullets to Wizards)...I don't think this is his fault.

I believe that the NBA is completely responsible for scheduling and teams really don't have a say.

If I'm not mistaken, DC isn't the only city, with both it's basketball and hockey teams in the playoffs, which was done bad by shoddy scheduling.

bozoette said...

You are such a good nephew. I look forward to reading more of your penningz.