Positives Amid a 12-2 Loss

From my post in Connecticut, I can only discern vague, Internet-aided "play-by-play" goings on at Nationals Park, and wherever else our future division-winning team plays. Last night, Yahoo! told me those goings on did not go well, with the Nats losing to the team from the city with 100 losing seasons by ten runs.

Even with the undesirable outcome of this game, let’s not give into (Philly-like) despair and, most of all, let’s not allow any random Philadelphia fan (if any have ceased filling message boards with fire-the-Flyers comments and left their homes) gloat over us and ruin recent positive developments.

Those developments, of course, revolve around the Nationals evolving dominating starting pitching rotation. Jason Bergmann: yet to give up a run since returning, more motivated than ever apparently, from the minors. John Lannan, he of the prescient DCO HOF induction last summer, has been similarly spectacular the last month (looking past that unpleasant business vs. the Pirates on May 2). Tim Redding: also finishing off a fine month (also excluding one dud of a start, his vs. Florida on May 9). Put those three together, get Shawn Hill back healthy, add in the wondrously adequate Odalis Perez, and you’ve got a fine starting rotation, one destined to not turn over a hundred times like last season, and one to hold the fort until the eventual busting out of the batting order.

That batting order did have some, um, issues last night knocking in runs (23 lonely baserunners left stranded), but simply getting hits isn’t the issue anymore. Lastings Milledge: another two-hit game! Jesus Flores: 3-for-4 and making the case that a full year playing in the majors is more beneficial to his development than a full year playing in Harrisonburg. Elijah Dukes: the former Most Dangerous One-Hit Player in the majors is now the Most Dangerous Two-Hit Player in the majors. Ryan Zimmerman: sniffing .260, to go up from there.

So step 1, hitting and reaching base, is complete. Getting those runners home will surely soon follow. Let us, then, focus on these positive developments, and not wallow in what could otherwise be a soul-and-city-crushing loss.

Celebrating 25 Years of Futility

Ah, tis the season of the post-playoff-failure sojourn of the Philadelphia sports fan. No longer are they the "intimidating" lout of boorish battery-throwers, so passionate about their teams that they boo them at the drop of a 2-0 lead. No, now they are the poor, suffering, championship-less city of dreary almosts. Now, after they have lost again, the country should feel sorry for those denizens who pollute their stadiums with puke-colored jerseys and terribly backward pronunciations of "grass (grayeesz)" and "water (wooder)." They should accept the annoying banter that is a "Phaithful" discussing the "iggles" and their guaranteed championship-winning ability despite never having the ability to come closer than just close. That guy with the lame face-paint and the shoulder pads who feels the need to travel down 95 so he can chant spellings of the Eagles in Landover just needs a hug from someone who has actually celebrated a championship win in the past 25 years, right?

Well, we here at the DC Optimist want to remind you that feeling sorry for the Philadelphia sports fan is NEVER proper. No, during these wondrous times when the "remember how close we were"s and the "We were the best team in the regular season"s and the "we were robbed by the refs/commissioner/god, etc"s start to flow out in that ragged accent, it is time to administer the proper amount of cajolement. The unruly nature of the Philadelphia sports fanbase is nothing more than the reflection of an insecurity that lying in between two superior metropolises bears. Thus the fervent backing of second-rate sports teams occurs complete with the sanctimonious boos that only the most abusive daddy could lavish upon their son or daughter's minor failures. Those that aren't 100% behind this insufferable gamut of "aeeeyyezholes" bear the verbal brunt of abuse typically leveled during Klan rallies. Propose a trade from this unglorious town, become public enemy number one (see Rolen; Scott, Lindros, Eric) earning lush hatred while representing the fanbase's best interests. It soon becomes no wonder that the stars that leave the brotherly lovers often have such great things to say about their new home.

These same "Phanatics" who pelt J.D. Drew with batteries upon his playing for another team just can't stand the fact that some pissy caps fans chucked bottles at their players, after they were booing said player this night before. And as is often the refrain regarding the bandwagon nature of the DC fan heard from the "Phaithful" regarding how no one was watching the caps before they started winning, please hip me to the Phillies' attendance figures during those last-place days at the vet. I can remember not a more cavernous ark of desolate blue nothingness. In that space, no one can hear you boo.

Much was made of Mike Wise's column and the subsequent printing and passing out of said column before the first-round playoff series between the Caps and the Flyers and how it marked how wonderfully belligerent the "Phaithful" are and how great that is. Now, we are treated with the pathetic prose of the teary typers from the Philadelphia Inquirer who are bemoaning yet another year of ineptitude. A typical piece comes courtesy of Peter Mucha, whose "Loserville: 25 years, 0 championships" has an epic title to go along with the typical recounts of failures therein. A nice little addition to Mucha's piece is the interactive "Loserville: 25 years of futility" map that allows the user to visually recount other cities with major league teams and their ability to not lose championships. Be sure to drag your mouse over the Washington, DC dot, where the last two Redskins titles are proudly displayed. Also, be sure to drag your mouse over other the only more terrible sports town of Cleveland, and note their continued lack of championship, which stretches even further than Philadelphia's, which was aided by those homebodies in Boston, who turned the crybaby into the dead baby last night.

Another philly.com scribe, Rich Hoffman, has his take on the titleless-ness too, recounting what is now 100 consecutive combined season of all four franchises minus cup/ring/trophy. Take the time to breathe in these pleasure-inducing paeans to patheticism, visualizing a glorious morning in Bucks County where audible booing can be heard amongst the breakfast-and-paper partakers. Methinks that a hard copy of the Philadelphia Inquirer would make good exagerratedly read material for this week's Nats vs. Philllies series. In a Terrapin-game-esque manner, be sure to ruffle the pages of Mucha and Hoffman's pieces into the faces of the "Phaithful," maybe even reciting some of the more pleasure-inducing lines like, "We're No. 1 - at falling short!"

DCO Mailbag / Series Preview

Regular DCO commentator (bless you for that) and Phillies fan Pop Cultured writes, "Our series starts Tuesday, brother...what do you think?" We've only done a series preview once before, and while that prediction may have been, on a purely cold, results-tilted scale, slightly incorrect (though on a 'Tism-weighted scale it was dead-on, with only dastardly circumstances preventing what might [should] have been), we nevertheless put our prognosticating skills to the test again and look at the important aspects of the crucial upcoming Nationals-Phillies series.

Mildly interesting fact: both teams are 6-4 since the All-Star break. This record marks a tremendously successful stretch for the Nats, putting to bed the unpleasant memories of late June (selectively looking back a little further, they have won 8 of 12), and igniting hopes that we are about to re-live the glory days of mid-May through mid-June. The Phillies' recent streak has pushed them up above .500. Still, a 6-4 stretch is much more of a big deal to Washington than it is to Philadelphia. Advantage: Nats

The Phillies boast some gaudy offensive statistics, with players with more than 20 HRs, 80 runs, and 80 RBI. The Nationals have a feel-good story sitting in second place in NL hitting. Dmitri has only temporarily vacated the top spot in favor of Chipper Jones, whose recent fluky hot streak is no match for Dmitri's two-months-and-counting hitting extravaganza. Dmitri is scheduled to come off a minor injury to continue the extravaganza in a starting role on, coincidentally enough, Tuesday, in Philadelphia. Advantage: Nats.

The Phillies franchise recently lost its 10,000th game, to the apparent delight of wacky disc jockeys. The Nationals are unlikely to lose even 1/100 that many games this year, to the disappointment of every baseball expert in the entire universe, but to the surprise of no one in the Washington clubhouse. Advantage: Nats.

Matt Chico takes the mound on Wednesday in the second game of the series. According to his biggest fan, Chico=American Icon/Hero, presumably a bigger icon than, say, the Liberty Bell, and a bigger hero than, say, Ben Franklin, both of Philadelphia. Advantage: Nats.

The Nationals have signed second-biggest-feel-good-story-in-baseball (at least baseball in Washington) Ronnie Belliard to a contract extension. The Phillies have not. The move suggests that other re-signings of other key players may be forthcoming as The Plan perhaps transitions from "jettison-all-currently-good-players-in-favor-of-long-term-prospects" to "keep-the-good-players-you-have". Advantage: Nats.

With these undeniable and unassailable facts such as they are, there is only one possible result to this series. We report. You decide (please don't sue us, Rupert).

Nationals Continue Beating Up on Top of NL East, Surge Past Phillies

The rain held off this time, and the Nationals continued their recent thrashing of the "elite" teams of the NL East, thoroughly besting the Braves, 5-1. The Nats are now on a "three-day" winning streak, having not lost since Friday. In the process, they left the NL East basement the sole purview of the Philadelphia Phillies. We now wait for the naturally inevitable comparisons between these last-place Phillies and the 1962 Mets. It's only fair.

If the bottom of the order carried the team during its dismantling of the Mets on Saturday, the top carried them here, with Felipe Lopez, Ronnie Belliard, Ryan Zimmerman, and Dmitri Young (doing a fabulous Jackie Robinson impression in both jersey number and hitting prowess) combined for all nine Nats' hits and all five runs. Young would have had a pair of home runs were it not for the freakish dimensions of RFK. Looks like Mitchell Page was right: this team can hit. They may even be able to pitch, with the fourth straight solid contribution from starting pitching. Matt Chico did the honors this time.

Playing division opponents for almost the rest of the month gives the team ample opportunity to further bury the Phillies and gain on the rest. Look out behind you, Florida Marlins.