Wednesday, December 12, 2007

More DCO Validation

I know you are wondering where Bob has been, being that his last two posts have been two photoshops, one bogarted from a more talented friend, and another that had all of the internet scratching their heads at the slightly obscure reference. As a result, the DCO has effectively turned to a spectacular one-pony show. But explanations for a star's absenteeism is something we leave to area professional sports reporter bloggers, all of whom have a reasonable timetable for Gilbert Arenas's imminently successful return.

Instead of worrying about whose alias sits at the bottom of each post, we will concentrate on one of the most important weeks of football in the history of this fantastically successful sports blog. Emphasizing fantastic, or fantasy, an eventful event occurs this weekend, with Bob's fantasy football squad "Romo-Grip" taking on DCO's fantasy football squad "DC Optimist" in their company's fantasy football super bowl. This potentially fiery matchup pits the dominant, overall points champion Romo-Grip, named after Tony Romo's unsuccessful bid to secure a playoff game winning field goal, a team that is made up of the number one tight end (Antonio Gates), the number one receiver (Randy Moss), the number one running back (Ladanian Tomlinson), and other dudes that consistently landed "the Grip" in the top slot. DC Optimist, made up from guts, waiver wire deals, and also Randy Moss (the two were in different conferences, thus similar makeups). So who ya got? Who cares, right?

The ultimate overall purpose of this unprecedented matchup (and painfully self-serving blog post), is to further the vindication of the superior prognostic abilities of the two head writers of this blog (boy that's a lot of 'ofs'). I'm sure you have been heading elsewhere for your fantasy football advice, possibly even paying for 'expert' advice from dudes who likely aren't matched up with their esteemed partners in their league's super bowls. The DCO team has, in one fell swoop of a football season, dominated all aspects of their league, and guarantee their readers that one of them will be the top fantasy performer of the year.

These results mean you should still check the DCO for your local sporting insights. Lets check the overall stats: Right about the Nats, Right about the skins (sort of), going to be right about the caps, and now, right about fantasy football team constructions.

Want to be the next "Romo-Grip," or "DC Optimist?" Follow this trademark. Neither Romo-Grip nor DC Optimist feature a Cowboy, a Giant, nor an Eagle representative. Why would this strategy work? Not only do you avoid the quagmire of Eli-ownership, but also, you don't have to be that tool who cheers whenever a clown like Romo winks. Have the number one pick? Choose Tomlinson, who has been lighting it up latelty. You can even learn from the mistakes of these two juggernauts, like avoid the Denver Broncos defense and Marc Bulger like the plague, as both teams partook in these cancers to poor results. But resilliance has also been a hallmark of these two fake teams, as despite wasting a draft pick on those scrubs, they were subsequently replaced in an effective manner.

1 comment:

JakeTheSnake said...

No really, I think I was the only person on earth who didn't get it. After talking to most of my friends about it I think I can safely say I'm the only American male over the age of 17 who hasn't watched Chinatown.

On a sidenote, I can vouch for not having Giant, Cowboy, or Eagle representatives on my fantasy team thanks to the one week that Donovan McNabb and Brandon Jacobs combined to score -22 points for me. This only gets worse (for McNabb) when you consider that Brandon Jacobs was injured that week and didn't score any points.