Monday, July 30, 2007

The New and Improved Brandon Lloyd

In this discrete Redskins offseason of impassioned frugality and level headedness, one of the hallmarks of what will become — in our often-correct analysis — the ultimate team-comeback story, will be the Redskins' everlasting faith in projects that had yet to matriculate positive results. Beginning with the grasping of Saunders' hallowed playbook and continuing with faith in a Portis-Betts biumverate and furthering through trust in the often snickered-at defensive line makeup, there were experiments made before 5-11 that many unfaithful individuals would have since aborted. One of the more embarrassing additions to 5-11 (yes, we are drawing slightly offensive parallels here), was wide receiver Brandon Lloyd.

Blessed with the ability to make sportscenter highlight packages that make Stuart Scott erupt with akwardly out-of-touch references to urban rap music, Lloyd was supposed to be that guy that made the defense think twice about doubling Santana. He was going to be the guy Brunell would pitch to when he wasn't targetting his check-down route on third down. Unfortunately, after his lone highlight (that diving catch on second down in the worst preseason game, like, ever), he completely vanished, turning up only to exhibit overall shame with tantrums, drops, avoidances of contact, and ahem, rap albums. After these Archuleta-like grievances, the skins braintrust should have layed down the axe upon his uniquely-coiffed head and proceeded to procure another source of catches that may not end up having the worst season in the history of wide receivers, right?

But trusting in the braintrust knows no bounds here, and The DC Optimist enjoys the manner in which the braintrust offers unwavering support to Lloyd, and we feel that there is no doubt that because of this, Lloyd will bounce back from this most unfortunate of seasons. Why check the photographic evidence courtesy of fans at Lloyd's newfound gunnage are David Boston-like in their definededness. We figure that running routes with another bouncing-back skin Shawn Springs in an offseason Arizona training compound can only help. Springs is convinced of Blloyd's ability:
"I can't think of too many guys I've ever played with that have the ability that
Brandon has," Springs said. "That's why I wanted to work out with him as a
veteran guy. He can do anything he wants on a football field. He's got that much
Nice to see a guy like Springs, who many had given up on or thought the team had given up on, working so hard to boost the talents of a player people think the team should have given up on, or never given a chance. No, Blloyd, or as my mother calls him "Lil T.O.," will fullfill the prophecies of Springs in 2007, upping his catch numbers, and his touchdown lack of number. We see physical improvements in Blloyd's fantastic website as well. New website, new biceps, new attitude — could this end positively? If we were Stuart Scott and also insufferable, we might say booyeah.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

definededness. greatest word ever. #85 is the truth...haters is his motivation, so hate on bitches. If the NFL had a most improved award, they'd already be etching BLloyd in anticipation.