Monday, October 22, 2007

Nothing Misleading Here


Not the prettiest way to achieve it, but it’s still…….4-2.

It’s disappointing to see borderline optimism-hating by our boy Steinz, who must have felt it necessary to quash whatever buzz we had left after yesterday’s harrowing 4th quarter. He called the right-in-the-thick-of-everything Redskins’ 4-2 record “misleading.” Misleading? Dan, Dan, Dan. What’s misleading about the NFC’s #1 defense? What’s misleading about shutting down back-to-back #1 passing offenses in the form of the Lions and Packers (followed by a surviving of the potent Warner-Rattay combo). But the offense is terrible, right? Not really: a perhaps-surprising #7 in points/game in the NFC. This ranks the Skins ahead of such alleged offensive dynamos as the Eagles (how can their average be so bad even with that 50+ against Detroit?), Saints, and Seahawks.

Ohio State's #1 ranking is misleading. Boston College's #2 ranking is misleading. This slippery fellow in the Alexandria Hyundai commercial is possibly misleading. The Redskins' 4-2 record is...the Redskins' 4-2 record.

The point being in all of this: let’s not look for reasons to dislike this win. Let’s, for once, revel in the fact that some other team is saying “we should have won this game” after putting up statistics to prove how superior they were to the team that just beat them. This week Arizona has “the field goal” (or, really, “the extra point”) instead of Washington having, say, “the fumble” or “the most difficult two yards in the history of existence.” As much as any person or team is ever “due” for anything, this team was “due” to win a game in which they were statistically outperformed (at least offensively).

-Off-topic for a moment: Chris Berman can discontinue saying “sexy” any time he wants to on the pre-game show. Somebody stop him, please.

Since we now safely can look past the Cardinals, let’s look at the Patriots. We’ve already documented that it’s a professionally acknowledged possibility the Redskins can win this game. It’s just a matter of the Redskins believing it can happen. They just need someone to inspire them, much as Moe inspired Homer before his fight with heavyweight champ Dreaderick Tatum. Since my few minutes of research did not turn up a video of this inspiration for the ages, I’ll borrow the quote from the Simpsons Archive.

Moe: All right, Homer, I'm not gonna lie to you. There's a good chance you can beat Tatum. But you gotta visualize how you're gonna win, okay?
Homer: Gotcha.
[dreams on about his victory]
Announcer: A congenital heart defect has apparently felled Tatum moments before he could step into the ring.

It’s that simple.

-Berman again. Please stop. Is he the only one who does not see that he is utterly insufferable? Is he the only one who feels he doesn’t deliver a joke with all the hilarity and non-awkwardness of Alex Trebek (anybody catch his whimsical Dr. Ruth impression tonight?)?

We’re bound to see a lot of “no chance, let’s concede 4-3 right now” commentary in the next six days. Like the thinking of all completely pessimistic thoughts, and like going 5-1 playing the Cowboys’ schedule, it’s easy to do. Resist. Resist in the same way you should resist thinking about worst-case scenarios.

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