GRINDIN' WITH B-LAICH/BLATCHE

The Caps won again last night, cutting eighth-seed playoff picture entrance points to four, and division-title picture entrance points to five. It was the first of a oft-referred-to-as-crucial five game homestand, continuing Sunday when the Flyers and their unwashed mass of miscreant fans from up I-95 arrive complete with their mindless playoff-less team-name spelling chants. Here's a tip for optimilitia members: when the name of the postseason-less, superbowl-less Eagles is spelled by the cohort of insecure thugs bound to pollute the Verizon Center Sunday afternoon (a time they usually have reserved for misogynistic wing-eating contests and sleeping off righteous "Lager"-infused hangovers), point to the best secondary logo in the NHL on your new Chris Clark jersey you got for Christmas asking, "HOW ABOUT THESE EAGLES?"

The answer? HOT HOT HOT. And why? Totally like (**hello Craig Laughlin!**), the stepping-up of Brooks "B-Laich" Laich. B-Laich's play has often been described as GRINDIN', scraping along the boards on the fourth line with Brashear and chipping in with key assists, goals (working on a career-high), and various other contributing ways. He has been compared to James Black in these parts, but we feel that this is an unjust comparison. Black rarely emerged out of the press box, unless it was to sink the Pens. B-Laich's contributions make more sense when compared to another DCO fave, but of a different sport, Andray Blatche.

Both Blatche and B-Laich are dirty-working trench-livers, who specialize in being pesky, causing deflections and occasional, always helpful scoring binges. Against Yao Ming on Tuesday, Blatche was quite effective, blocking him twice, causing a steal, and being called for phantom fouls when otherwise performing brilliantly. Eddie Jordan had no choice but to keep him in the lineup, often concocting strange floor combinations as a result, like having Haywood play power forward, Jamison play the three, and Deshawn Stevenson play at all, instead of preserving his lack of effective shooting on the bench. Blatche's six amassed fouls lead him off the floor earlier than we desired, but you could tell Yao has surpassed the NBA superstar language barrier (meaning constantly whining to the officials), being bothered by the long arms, the quick jumping and the jacked up grill.

Interesting that Blatche performed so well so soon after running into me at Lucky Strike Saturday night, where I was drinking off Todd Collins's floating pass ways with Tom Collinses. I wasn't trying to be one of those groupie dewds when I just happened to recognize the innocuous 6'11" dude stalking the impossible-to-ever-get-a-lane bowling alley/expensive bar, so I enlisted the help of a slightly inebriated female friend, who after delivering me a hi-five from Blatche, proceeded to ask him if he knew Steve Francis, which was both hilarious, embarassing, and surreal simultaneously. After he responded with a curt "no," trying to move away from this weird combination of beer and fandom, I thought about how simply interacting with this blogger has aided the local sports stars. (I also thought about how the young Blatche should probably not be out at a alcohol-serving bowling alley on a late night before a 1 o'clock game the next morning, but gossiping is not in this blog's wheelhouse. Blatche had an unremarkable game against the Sonics the next day.)

Laich too experienced a first-hand interaction with the conduit of 'tism, having answered a few tough questions during a post-game lockerroom session after a tough loss to the Panthers that team-tism attended. In that game, Laich scored a shorty, provided great energy and almost lead a third-period comeback for the ages. Two games after that, Bruce Boudreau was promoted, and the Caps began their ascent to the upper-reaches of the Eastern Conference. Coincidence? (Reach?) If anything, it definitely justifies Ted Leonsis' continued allowance of us behind the scenes of his franchise.

Further comparisons of the two include the late-round selection brilliance of both players (Blatche toward the end of the second round, the Wizards lone pick that season; Laich in the sixth round by the Sens, then procured for the Immortal Mike Grier); the versatility of the two (Laich used on both the PK and the PP; Blatche handling the ball like a small foward, yet also posting up on the block); and the correlation between their bigger offensive contributions and wins (B-Laich: last night, 1/1, 12/12, 10/8; Blatche: 1/4, 12/29, 11/20). And one more for ya: Key contributors to PLAYOFF BOUND TEAMS.

Report: Wizards Not Doomed

Redskins training camp has had the easy going nature of a workplace team-building session, complete with trust-falls, friendship-buildings, and early closures. The Nationals are tearing through the National league, reeling off consecutive wins and propelling out of the basement as if they were networking bloggers. With all of this goodness surrounding the DC sports scene, why have there been such negative attitudes towards the most playoff-prolific of the local franchises, the Washington Wizards?

All of a sudden, after a future-gambling, cap-crunching importing of Kevin Garnett to the Boston Celtics, everyone's favorite big three seems tiny to some in comparison. Foreign commodity Juan Carlos Navarro couldn't be given a contract without sacrificing Abe Pollin's precious luxury tax dollars and was subsequently dealt to Memphis for...something. Andray Blatche, looking at a new contract and the opportunity to break out into the KG-molded player we all see in him, slipped into the Chris Webber-molded player that we all hoped we wouldn't see in him by making it rain on a undercover police officer posing as a prostitute, leading to a much-blogicized arrest. Deshawn Stevenson was retained for that reasonable contract we all hoped for, but the move has occasional Wizard-noticer Michael Wilbon, amongst other disgruntled, asking whether Navarro would be a better option. And our favorite venerable Wizards' beat writer Ivan Carter is dealing with internet threats being placed on his totally awesome blog entries (if only the DCO received such threats, after all, the haterz is our motivation).

Issues like these may have a less optimistic person worried that the playoffs, where the Wizards have become accustomed to attending, may be out of reach. It may cause them to worry that Carter, seemingly losing his sanity, will cease giving us updates on exactly which picks the Wizards won't get for Navarro, and instead spend his off-time shopping for on-air shirts with Mike Wise, thus dissapointing the internets as a whole. But as you may have noticed, this place is never less optimistic about anything. Herein, we discuss why these minor issues will have no effect on the Wizards continuing their motoring-to-the-top ways, eschewing these distractions, building for the future, and continuing to provide Ivan Carter with spectacular internet posting material (seriously, try asking players the tough questions yourself before you go dissing Ivan, nerdz).

1) The Ballyhooed Garnett deal: The C's finally returning to some sort of eminence is a nice balancing out of a league, and having to deal with Garnett crying on camera about his loyalties and blah blah blah was also irritating, so we welcome this deal. However, we can't simply annoint KG, with new teammies Ray Allen and Paul Pierce, as the best trio in the eastern conference right this second, nor can we immediately place them above the Wiz on our scientific ranking systems. Unlike the KG-Allen-Pierce combo, the Wizards' big three (Caron, Antawn and Gilbert), have had two seasons of togetherness. Does chemistry count for anything on the basketball court (Seriously Hollinger, "glorified Wizards?" They will be lucky to touch the highest scoring trio in the league)? Carter, who has taken to balling with NBA players on occassion might say yeah. After all, it usually took a few games early in the season for the Wizards to engender new teammates into their systems. This will not need to occur in 07-08, for the chemistry will already be bubbling from their first place mid-finish last year.* Does this Garnett move resurrect the east? Maybe, but we feel like the ressurrection was in the midst of occuring last year*, until an unknown, unholy being decided that 2007 would not be the year glory would bestow itself in Chinatown. Speaking of injuries, how many games have Pierce and Allen combined to miss in the last two seasons? Everyone knows what happens when two of the big three are missing, even though everyone should have forgotten.

2) The Navarro deal: Juan, A second rounder whose decision to come stateside was ill-timed to say the least, will net the Grun-trust at least a first rounder sometime in the near future. This is a prodigious gain, frankly. Too many Wizards drafts have consisted of middling picks that either become Jarvis Hayes or sit overseas for a year. With two first rounders (sometime), the Wiz will be in the position to continue to bolster their future, or even deal for that elusive big man that doesn't really exist for less than 20-mil a year.

3) Blatche's booty call: Look, we are not going to again link ourselves to taking a stand for victimless crimes, but lets give the child a break. He is only 20 years old, has been shot, and has had to share a locker room with Michael Ruffin. We can grant him a little slack when the heat turns up and the local police officer count explodes. He has even taken to the airwaves to declare his innocence. The worst thing the Wiz could do would be to cut this kid loose for this transgression. The aforementioned Chris Webber may have had his personal flaws, but his colorful rap sheet was still the wrong reason to deal him for the genial Mitch Richmond. Give the kid a chance to redeem himself.

4) Stevenson's retaining: Look, the Wizards could have maybe dropped Rashard Lewis money on their venerable defending two-guard for his undying vet-minimum loyalty, but they didn't. They locked up that starting two position for the future at a reasonable price, ensuring the lasting chemistry betwixt him and Agent Zero, and supporting his role through the drafting of Nick Young. Stevenson had two major plays that lead to W's last year (1. dish to Caron for dagger vs. Knicks, 2. shot block and free throws vs. Hawks), and his swag was entertaining to watch. He fit nicely into Eddie Jordan's supposed system, and he actually has the potential to get better, with surgically repaired knee ligaments rounding into form. Why send him elsewhere for an unknown? Gilbert is happy with it, and with doomsayers worried about his pending free agency, keeping him ebuilient is of the utmost importance...

5)...As is keeping our friend Ivan Carter happy: Please don't let the internet bother you. One trip through the message boards ought to have you convinced that these people are pretty much crazy. So keep us posted on those Navarro particulars, PLZ!

Blatche Relishes Savior Role

WASHINGTON, April 10 — Andray Blatche, the infinitely talented and precociously young Wizards Big Man is poised to return from a 7-game hiatus and resume his quest to become the answer to all Wiz-related problems. Eager to uplift a Wizards team that has been a bit less than spectacular, Blatche ought to be the missing piece that will push the Wizards over the line from "gutty" to "dangerous" and will have hundreds of computer-based Canadians shaking in their mooseskin caps.

After a knee sprain against the Clippers a few weeks back, Blatche—who has suffered a gunshot wound, the scorn of Eddie Jordan, a bench seat next to Michael Ruffin, and Roanoke, Virginia in his biblical path to Wizards greatness—is ready to finally fullfill his promise and be the big man the Wizards and their growing legion of pundits so desire. Having assumed the starting role of Caron Butler during the stretch when Butler was injured in February, Blatche averaged double-digit points and rebounds. He has surpassed his career high twice, once in non-garbage time, and he is fast becoming a fan favorite.

Drafted as a project forward from high-school whose lone weakness was "attitude," Blatche has taken every limited Eddie Jordan-owned opportunity presented to him and used it to blossom into a dirty-working, yet offensively gifted power forward, instead of a whiney, feminine, child-man, who buckles under the 2 minute per game average. Check the humility:

"Patience is key with everything" said Blatche, who is averaging 3.8 points and
3.5 rebounds in 12 minutes. "I've been through it before with not playing so I
already have the mind-set that I need to be patient, wait for my knee to get
better. So I'm just coming out with the attitude that I need to play hard and
work hard."

The Wizards thankfully ignored the red flags that may have propped up in the previous high-school big man whose lone weakness was attitude, the braintrust in Chinatown were this time able to determine that this power forward project would be less likely to throw confections down instead of dunks. Encased in his prodigiously lanky 7-foot frame, is the ball-handling of an even lankier Donnell Taylor, the jump shooting of a less awkward Antawn Jamison, the shot blocking of a more motivated Brendan Haywood and the teeth of a British sailor.

While many fans have become faithful of all five of their starting lineup players, Blatche's increasing contributions ought to pierce that fine brilliant set of individuals and catapult him into the limelight. I liken the situation to Willis Reed coming off the bench for the Knicks back in the day, except this time, the fate of an entire country rests on the big man's sharply angled shoulders.