Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Manny's Happy Place


In an almost throwaway statement on Washington Post Live prior to last night's victory over the Houston Astros (question: the flippin' Astros bring opposing fans to RFK? What the hell?), Manny Acta cracked open the window to his soul . When host and DC Optimist fan Russ Thaler asked Man Act how he copes with "mounting loses", the Master of 'Tism replied that he will simply "watch the 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air' with my daughter." It is, apparently, that simple. We only wish Russ had relentlessly pursued this angle in the same way he aggressively sought details surrounding Manny's upcoming experimentation with the country music scene in Philly.

Though we lack specifics as to how the wacky exploits of the Banks family give Manny a quick upper, DCO nevertheless fully endorses this revolutionary 'Tism Therapy. To that end, we recommend that after every Nationals defeat fans tune in to the WB at 1:00 AM, lest they go to bed the least bit upset at what transpired on the diamond.

Had the Nats lost last night, for instance, solitude would have awaited us in the form of "As the Will Turns", in which "The lead in a daytime drama (Leanne Hunley) wants Will for her co-star." Oh Will, what have you gotten yourself into this time? Of course, even botched calls at first base and late-inning comeback attempts could not deny our boys victory, so such viewing is not required this early morning. However, should things take a turn for the worse tonight, we have
"Save the Last Trance for Me" to pull us out of any funk that may ensnare us. This time, "Carlton hires a hypnotist for Will's bash; Nicky interviews for school." If such zaniness does not put you to bed with a smile on your face, your name is Lou Pinella. Ha!

But seriously, how can you not love this guy? While other local coaches may be known for brooding about Redskins Park the office at all hours even during successful stretches (not a knock on you, Joe. Love you too), ChairManny kicks back at home and enjoys the journey from West Philadelphia to Southern California, recharging the batteries to bring optimism to his players and the masses no matter the situation. I may tune in tonight after all. Just in case.

4 comments:

Bobtimist Prime said...

Now we just need footage of Tony Batista doing the Carlton dance.

Pop Cultured said...

the Nats don't annoy me yet...they have a feisty manager and are working with next to nothing...

on the other hand, Redskin Fan could be the worst in all of creation...that is until the season starts and the losses shut them up...

DC Optimist said...

Hmm, August through January could be difficult reading for you if that's the case.

The Penguin said...

pop cultured eats baby fetuses. seriously, i hope you die in a fire.