Nationals Win Series 2 – 1.5 (and the Gravest Threat to Us All)

The Nats shocked the NL East-leading Mets by taking 2 out of 3.5 at Shea this weekend. It would have been a more decisive 3 games out of 4 had rain not interfered for the second time this season and cut yesterday's game short after less than five innings (yes, Washington was on the verge of a stunning 5-run, late-inning comeback on Sunday. All the signs were there). Once again, only the rain bailed the Mets out of a humiliating, convincing series defeat at home at the hands of the Nationals. In fact, it might be a little too coincidental that weather again was such a factor in denying the Nats a well-deserved series victory against New York. Also a tad bit too coincidental is the upcoming Discovery Channel program on…controlling the weather, a program that, according to the promotions, prominently features New York! In short, yes, we believe high ranking members of the Mets organization are in possession of a weather machine.

Also complicit in this plot against The Plan is master prognosticator Joel Sherman of the New York Post, who doubtlessly hates to see his predictions of the NL East's mastery over the Nationals proved so completely false (yes, they currently sport an 18-23 record against the East, but this is hardly the pushover record that was expected of them; the Nats' 4-4.5 record against the Mets in particular must gall him to no end). Also, as Sherman is a self-declared member of that haughty and brillianly clairvoyant “the Nats will be worse than the ’62 Mets” club, he must have seen the Nationals’ claming of victory #43 late last week as a stinging, personal rebuke.

Thus, with his beloved team still solidly entrenched in the records books as The Worst of All-Time, and with the same team about to be done in yet again by the Nationals he disdains so much, Sherman and his conspirators in Flushing turned their keys a-la Crimson Tide and unleashed the man-shackled forces of Nature. It's the only possible explanation.