Alex Semin Enshrined in DCO Hall of Fame

What does it take to bring a blog out of its posting slumber? How about a Sovetsky Sports interview with Alexander Semin, brought to us by the Puck Daddy blog? About halfway in to this Q and A session with rising Capitals’ star only now catching NHL-wide attention, a question is posed regarding Semin’s place in the Ovechkin/Crosby/Malkin rivalry, asking Alex S. where exactly he fits in with this trifecta.

What a nice little middle-of-the-interview softball question. It’s the perfect opportunity to throw about some Mary-Worth-worthy platitudes, stuff like “It’s just an honor to be mentioned with those guys” or “I don’t think I’m quite there yet” or any manner of throwaway compliment to Sid's "vision", etc. But Alex knows what he has to do, what must be done. Risking the wrath of every darling-loving NHL analyst and Wheeling-dwelling Pens fan, he states: “What’s so special about Crosby? I don’t see anything special there.”

THANK YOU.

After these two sentences, we have no choice but to admit Alexander Semin to the DCO Hall of Fame. He will become Co-Director of the re-christened Stevenson-Semin Accurate Player Assessment Wing. As we all know, the Wizards’ Deshawn Stevenson gained admittance to the DCO HOF last March with his similarly establishment-bucking comments on the Sidney Crosby of the NBA, Lebron James. His hype-defying analysis was enough to garner him a wing of the DCO named in his honor. Today, Semin shares in that honor for the brave Russian’s own calling out of a Chosen One.

But wait, Semin didn’t stop with just those two sentences? He went on? Take a gander at this:

“I think that if you take any player, even if he is "dead wood," and start promoting him, you'll get a star. Especially if he scores 100 points. No one is going to care about anyone else. No one is going to care whether he possesses great skill. Let's say you put someone in front of the net and let him deflect pucks in, and he scored 50 goals; everyone will say "Wow!" and then hand him a $10 million per year contract. That's what they like here. “

Sounds familiar, no? Take a player, christen him “The Next One”, promote the living hell out of him, convince the more highly impressionable amongst us that he’s “the face of the NHL”, and bam, star. Semin’s seemingly rare ability to see through such nonsense will be of great value to the Accurate Player Assessment Wing. Perhaps Stevenson and Semin can combine forces to encourage some brave soul within the NFL ranks to follow suit and declare Tony Romo to not be one of the greatest quarterbacks in history. Perhaps this individual will defy the Peter Kings of this world to find the Dallas quarterback not divine, and in fact quite prone to the turnover and completely addicted to the playoff-game-blowing play. Deshawn paved the road for such brave whistle-blowers. Alex has followed. Who’s next? The DCO HOF awaits.

DCO Hall of Fame Recognizes Jeff Sagarin

Jeff Sagarin has been appointed Special Consultant to the DCO Hall of Fame for his work on the Sagarin Ratings Index which appears in USA Today. Most notable is his work on ranking NFL teams. Yesterday we studied the errors that can occur in team evaluation when one’s judgment is clouded by darlingism and love of Tony Romo’s glamorous smile and cutesy backwards-hat-wearing. The Sagarin Index is immune to such foolishness, as it uses accurate, utterly objective criteria to reveal to us the true cream of the NFL. To that end, we see the Redskins rise to #1 in these ratings, having demonstrated an ability to jump to 3-1 against the NFL’s toughest schedule through 4 weeks.

For his work in seeing past what ESPN and Peter King (among others) cannot see past, we welcome Sagarin to the staff, even though strict HOF admission policies forbid his enshrinement. He will report directly to Deshawn Stevenson, who was inducted into the DCO HOF in March and named proprietor of the newly created Deshawn Stevenson Accurate Player Assessment Wing. In this hype-resistant haven, Stevenson is free to correctly identify Lebron James as non-divine, and with Sagarin assisting him on the team level, there is no limit to the darling-fueled nonsense they can cut through.

Optimistic Observations From Up North

I’m back to posting after a little more than a week in my new location, experiencing, at the moment, only mild withdrawal from my beloved DC sports, thanks to some fortuitously timed television broadcasts.

Our cable was hooked up just in time to see all of Game 7 between the Caps and Flyers. While the result of that game and series was undeniably undesirable (Tom Poti for tripping in overtime? Really?), it’s hard to see the Caps now-ended season as anything more than an unqualified success and another step on the road to a decade’s worth of Cup contention. The stated goal was to make the playoffs. Playoffs made. Next year: advance. Given the way Jack-Adams-winner-in-waiting Bruce II and the lads played since November, it’s hard to see anything but serious advancement happening next year.

There was also some disappointment. Mike Wise, so close to DCO Hall of Fame induction with so many recent non-Jason-La-Canfora-like columns, backslid in a serious way during the last week. Disturbing evidence surfaced in his mostly positive eulogy of the Caps’ season. The insidious shades of long-dormant optimism hating came to the surface in Wise’s decidedly unwise quoting of a deluded Flyers’ fan who somehow thought his team forged the Capitals into mature hockey players with their unwielding manliness:

Bottom line about the series comes from an astute Flyers fan, who said: "When your team plays like a hockey team and not a bunch of figure skaters with padding, you win. Our fans and team didn't beat the Caps up. We made them men. You're welcome."
Down the road, the Caps will thank you, Philadelphia, from the bottom of their Game 7 hearts.

Bad enough is the quoting of this nitwit. Worse is the lending of credence to the baldly faulty logic by referring to the fan as “astute”. Still worse is thanking the fan for this logic, while failing to ask if this pillar of astute fandom helped to boo his team off the ice after Game 6. And let’s examine the logic. First, the wildly clichéd “figure skater” derision, applied in an appropriately clichéd fashion to the Capitals, simply because they possess a modicum of true hockey skill and don’t base their game purely on goalie-running. Oh, and Alex Ovechkin is nothing like a figure skater, if that’s what this idiot was getting at. Second, I would argue that a few months of must-win hockey, culminating in a season-closing, division-clinching 11-1 run, made this team “men” much more than a bunch louts and their badly conceived playoff slogan.

With the Caps gone, Wise went back to his true favorite pastime: Wizards bashing, as Bobtimist Prime ably documented. So we’ve had to cancel the DCO HOF bust-carving. We’re sure Wise is crushed.

Speaking of DCO HOF members, this past week has seen John Lannan extend his scoreless inning streak to 14 innings, a solid 23.7% of the way to Orel Hershiser’s record of 59 innings.

Thursday the 24th brought me a nice treat, being able to concurrently watch the Nats’ 10-5 dismantling of the Mets and the Wizards’ 108-72 emphatic dumping of the Cavs on blessed regional and national cable. For a few precious hours, Westport, CT, felt a lot like Alexandria, VA. It was fleeting, of course, as the end of the Capitals’ season sunk in and the Nationals moved off to non-New-York climbs, but it was a nice transitional day.

It was also a start of a nice little run by the Nats, who’ve won four out of five since then. Busting out of that early season slump? Yes. Just like Ryan Zimmerman, he of the 3-for-4, 3 RBI performance last night, is emerging from his own early season nadir.

I’d be totally remiss in not mentioning another A+ draft effort from the Redskins. A trio of optimism-spouting second-round picks, ready to make all sorts of pass-catching, field-stretching contributions: that’s the stuff. So positive-sounding was this article that I thought for a moment, “what’s with La Canfora and all the positivity?” Foolish me should have realized such ‘tism was impossible from such a purveyor of negativity, and that the more forward-thinking Jason Reid penned this lovely draftee introduction.

So, not the worst week, even with the Caps temporarily feeling the sting of first-round elimination and the Wizards being pushed to the proverbial brink. Just as it’s doubtless the Caps will be back, it’s doubtless the Wizards will yet make this a long and competitive series, the faulty predictions of an allegedly infallible golden boy notwithstanding. I hope to be able to post a little more now, with the move settling down, and look forward to following from afar the Wizards’ comeback and another Nationals season turnaround. With any luck I’ll even be able to pop into DC for a game or two this summer.

Deshawn Stevenson Newest DCO HOF Inductee

Last night wasn't just another night of strong contributions from Deshawn Stevenson despite an atypical 13 points, 5 assists, and 3 steals in a most unlikely to TNT win over the Lebrons. No, last night there was one, doubly important contribution made that immediately thrusted the occasionally accurate shooting god (aka "Man") into the DCO pantheon that includes such hallowed names as Suisham, Lannan, Khayat, and Davis. After the game, in which he was blanketing the ballyhooes that echoed around the anointed one, causing an unbelievably called charge and a miss at regulation, Deshawn stepped to Ivan Carter's tape recorder and spit hot fiya.

"He's overrated," Stevenson said. "And you can say I said that."

Upon the reading of this quote, the DCO has begun construction of an entire wing of the HOF headquarters in Lanham in remembrance named the "Deshawn Stevenson Accurate Player Assessment Wing," where architects are fashioning a giant hand-like structure that waves itself across the entrance way as if the building can no longer feel its facade.

Stevenson, he of the vet's minimum loyalty and reasonable contract signed as a result, the big-time dagger against the Hornets, the locksmith defense on Ray Allen in Boston, the high-arching, air-reaching three point bombs (working on a career high), was so spot on in his analysis of Lebron James that proper attention must be paid forthwith. Who has said anything other than glimmering compliments about his anointedness?

Lebron, as a result of this first-ever badmouthing, likely scowled his way back to the locker room with a second straight loss and no ref-delivered heroism to build upon his phony legacy. His well-rehearsed scowl will cause reporters to fawn at his passion for missing unnecessary threes at the end of regulation when down two. Maybe these fawning reporters will ignore the seven Wizards in double figures and instead concentrate on how an "undermanned" Cavs squad played solid defense — defense meaning every big man took turns hurling themselves to the floor as violently as possible to draw an offensive foul call. The flopping from the Cavs was so furious last night that I was convinced a spate of epilepsy had been passed across the Cleveland bench. Ah, but those basketball gods, having punished Washington enough, finally realized the blasphemy that constantly pretending to be hurt or violated presents and actually atoned with that push off call with 13.2 seconds left. Where amazing happens indeed.

The Cavs "hit-the-floor" defense made me think about how one comes to adopt this method of head-hurling as opposed to, I dunno, shot blocking, stealing, putting hands in the face (as Deshawn did during 'Lebrick' at the end of regulation), talking smack, punching in the groin, etc. Then I saw this lame coach K commercial constantly bombarded upon us during these Mad March days:


Now I get it. These NBA guys have gone to that Coach K school, where they learn the art of flopping as hard as possible to draw the favors of officials. Coach K, he of the egregious Gilbert snub and resulting failure in the basketball world championships, does have a Cavs connection with pupil Lebron James who now likely infects his squad with these teachings. The predillection to flop combined with the fawning treatment from officials seems to have matriculated results, but it casts an unfortunate light on the Association. Why would us basketball consumers want to watch players mimic themselves after someone who has admitted to us all that he sucks?

But enough about the death of cohesive basketball for the satisfaction of corporate partners. The day belongs to Deshawn, whose owning up to what could potentially be posted on a bulletin board was so special and un-athlete-like that players around the league may follow suit. Maybe the next time the Cavs lose to the Nets, a wily Bostjan Nachbar will decry the overratedness of Mr. Anointed. Maybe after the Cavs fizzle in the playoffs, a bold sports commentator will think he is overrated. Maybe ESPN will revoke his "Whose Now" award, as if the trite banality of the proceedings wasn't lame already. Deshawn is starting a revolution here, a revolution against fawning, against coddling, and against latent douchebaggery. Lebron may be scowling, but we are endowing.

New Members of the DCO HOF, and Dealing With Phonies

Even though we fully believe the Redskins would not have blown another second-half lead on Sunday had that famous 12-men-on-the-field challenge not been made, we at DCO nevertheless honor those credited with bringing it about. Defensive coach Bill Khayat (pictured) and assistant video director Todd Davis have been identified as the two coaches “upstairs” who tipped off Coach Gibbs to the Vikings’ illicit player population. For the brilliant move in the face of desperation and slightly waning momentum, for giving the Redskins the ball back on a crucial drive, and for squashing the burgeoning optimism of the Minnesota crowd, we proudly induct Khayat and Davis into the DCO Hall of Fame. The inductions double the population of this exclusive club, which until now consisted only of John Lannan and Shaun Suisham.

Now it’s several days of hearing all that “control their own destiny” stuff. The situation is even better than that of course, as even a loss to Dallas doesn’t mean playoff extinction. There is, of course, great optimism amongst the populace, and lots of “it’s good Green Bay lost” sentiment, because the Cowboys will be playing a game meaningless to them, and possibly resting starters. It’s unfortunate in a way that we may not see Romo’s doofy smiling mug the entire game, or any of the game, as we absolutely feel the Redskins would be up to defeating the full Dallas contingent. It’s definitely unfortunate that we have to hear Cowboys fans already qualifying what they seem to think will be a sure Redskins’ victory. It’s only Tuesday (and Christmas, at that) and I’m already sick of hearing “oh, we (the Cowboys) are going to lose, but it doesn’t matter.”

Of course, living in the DC area, I’m mostly hearing this from people who do not live in Dallas. This brings up the eternal question: why is it that Cowboys fans born thousands of miles from Texas (such as, um, certain relatives and friends of certain bloggers) are more vociferous and obnoxious in support of their “hometown” team? Why is it that Cowboys fans actually from Texas generally seem to be more decent and almost polite despite their support of the most evil sports team on the planet? My theory: the former know that they are nothing but bandwagoning frauds (the king of this group is of course LeBron James, he of the Cowboys, Bulls, and Yankees fandom, despite his Ohio roots), thus need to overcompensate for their deep personal failings (and lies) in their completely irritating and baffling enthusiastic support (perhaps also playing a role: some latent-and-unfulfilled childhood wishes of actually being a cowboy). In this way, they almost convince delude themselves that they are from Texas, and that the Cowboys could be legitimately claimed as their own. So the next time you run into a Dallas fan from Trenton, New Jersey, or Annandale, Virginia, ask them the source of their rooting interest. The more convoluted or ridiculous the explanation, the more they truly know they are frontrunning phonies.

Ok, a bit of a tangent there. The point is: here’s hoping Romo, et al accumulate plenty of rust and go completely into the tank three weeks from now in round two of the playoffs (against the Redskins, perhaps?). Maybe that will shift some DC-area traitorous Dallas fans back to their real home team.

On the other hand, maybe this starter-resting isn’t such a bad idea after all. The Redskins have numerous nagging injuries. Perhaps there should be a full-scale resting of key personnel on the Washington side as well. It would even the odds, taking the “you only won and made the playoffs because we let you” arrow out of the vile collective quiver of Dallas fans. It would also be a true testament to ‘tism, a belief that this team that has endured so much is absolutely destined to make the playoffs, no matter what happens. So, problem solved: rest the damn starters.

Shaun Suisham Honored By DCO Hall of Fame

Redskins' placekicker Shaun Suisham has become the second official member of the DCO Hall of Fame, joining July inductee John Lannan of the Nationals. Not that they are the only members of this fledgling-yet-distinguished institution. There are numerous, and obvious, unofficial members, in the same way there are unofficially-retired-yet-still-honored Redskins' jersey numbers.

Lannan and Suisham, however, have caught our optimistic eyes with special achievements. Lannan wowed us with his bold rookie debut that featured inside-inside pitches against the Phillies, pitches which exposed the optimism-hating of a major league umpire and inspired his team to an important mid-summer victory. Suisham punched his DCO HOF ticket almost as early in his Redskins' career by connecting from 39 yards in OT to beat the Dolphins on Sunday. A perfect, down-the-middle, non-chip-shot-game-winning field goal, while a nice addition to any resume, would not necessarily be Hall-worthy on its own (see Novak, Nick). The accomplishment placed in context, however, reveals the importance (and reason for optimism) behind it.

Suisham has been nearly perfect (11 for 12) since coming to Washington after being dropped like a playoff snap to Tony Romo in Dallas. While the curmudgeons in Texas preferred their kickers crazy, the Redskins, perhaps starting their newfound trend of looking past big names, found yet another a kicker on which to stake their future. Much as the Nationals have found success with castoffs Dmitri Young, Ronnie Belliard, and Wily Mo Pena, the Skins have found their man behind the tee (and Derrick Frost's competent fingers) with Suisham.

No more having the indignity of carrying two kickers on the roster: one for kick-offs (anothe Suisham strength, save the pop-up to the 20 on Sunday) and one for field goals. No more Jose Cortez, John Hall, Brett Conway, Eddie Murray, etc. Remember the Michael Husted era? Remember the overtime game in 2000 against the Bucs when Norv decided to try to run it in three times from inside the five yard line rather than send in Husted for a field goal attempt of 23 yards or less? Remember how relieved we all were when that eventual kick actually made it through the uprights? Contrast that with Coach Joe deciding to kick a 39-yard field goal in overtime on first down with Suisham. That's confidence, that's stability, and that's DCO HOF context.

John Lannan Inducted into DCO Hall of Fame

In the most inauspicious major league pitching debut of all time, Nationals rookie lefty John Lannan won over the hearts of us here at the DC Optimist with his gutty performance, already earning a bust in our soon-to-be-coveted DCO Hall of Fame. While the actual DCO Hall of Fame building has yet to be erected, and there have yet to be any other legitimate winners of this honor, we felt that a hall of fame commemoration needs to be created after his simply brilliant attacking of Philadelphia Phillies. Most of the time we simply reward our local superstars when their attitudes are just cheery enough to straddle the delicate balance of sportsfan sanity that is as shaky as crucial knee ligaments (why knee sprain!? WHY?!!). But this display of genuine hatred towards Philadelphians will forever hold a place in our hearts. We first were won over when the ferocious lefty plunked back-to-back Phillies, got (historically) thrown out and caused the first ever ejection of ChairManny. But when news reached us regarding the first-plunked Chase Utley's hand status being of the broken variety, our hearts found a permanent place for the kid.

Injuring Philadelphia superstars before crucial playoff crunch times is always reason to celebrate. Sure Jeremiah Trotter's two years in the burgandy and gold were quite hilarious with the untimely blitzes that cause 30-yard screen passes to Stephen Davis in the fourth quarter and the knee shreddings at Texas stadium, followed by the corny "homecoming" back to that decrepit metropolis where he resurrected his fading career. But while he was here he managed to injure running back Brian Westbrook prior the the Eagles' umpteenth playoff flameout. For that, Trotter will always be in our positive memories.

Maybe people think Dale Hunter's finished check on Pierre Turgeon was a black eye for both "La Petite Peste" and the NHL as a whole. Not us. Even if Turgeon wasn't a Flyer, injuring him prevented the Islanders from winning the cup. Hunter was able to end the Flyers season back in '88, unfortunately, only Ron Hextall's wavering confidence was injured.

Thus with Lannan, we already have an injuring moment we can savor. His eventual development into one of the top arms in the Nats stable is just icing on the cake, as was the rallying of Lannan's teammates in response and the Nats' eventual victory. There may be nay-sayers who in a very Philadelphian-like manner are hilariously hostile due to their insecure whiney nature and overall malaise of their hometown. For this, we are equally ecstatic.