Teams That Know How To Make a Comeback

With the Capitals successfully finishing off another two-goal-deficits-mean-nothing-to-us, come-from-behind win last night (in a shootout, no less! Matt Bradley?!), the standings climb continues. First place in the Southeast, only four points away, is a virtual lock. The Thrashers and Hurricanes continue to flail away, hearing the footsteps of the Capitals and their gang of massively achieving, under-age-25, budding superstars behind them. Seriously, the youth movement is in full reward-reaping mode. Look at the key contributors last night: Backstrom, Ovechkin, Gordon, Semin, Green, Shultz (ignoring that little miscue on the penalty kill, he had a fine game). All young, all still on the ascent, all primed to be key cogs for years.

As this rising continues, a perhaps logical question would be: Is it still too early to compare this Caps’ resurgence with other recent DC return-from-oblivion stories? Of course not. Let’s look at how other locals have returned from what appeared to be disastrous straits to achieve almost-playoff-glory or at least mild-to-moderate respectability.

Nationals: Almost too obvious. Remember 9-25? We don’t. We do remember a spirited and inspiring 4/5 of a season that saw the Nats rise from potential eternal joke to a not-so-shabby-all-things-considered fourth place finish with fewer than 90 losses. Even that will be all but forgotten in coming seasons as the losses dip below 80, then 70, then…

Redskins: Definitely too obvious, given its freshness in all our optimistic minds. It’s easy to remember 5-7; easy to remember head coaching gaffes of monstrous proportion; all too easy to remember a murdered young star; easy to remember the franchise quarterback on the turf grasping his grotesquely dislocated kneecap. But, ahhh, the four-game win streak, the dismantling of the Cowboys (starters and reserves), who subsequently dismantled themselves against the Giants, making us almost able to completely enjoy the playoffs again (go Packers!). It also made me, personally, completely unable to choose my favorite Cowboys’ playoff moment:

Is it this?


Or this?


I just can’t decide.

The Redskins, of course, made their second improbable playoff run in three years and, also for the second-time in three years, lost to the Seahawks and their architecturally enhanced, totally cool and non-cliched “12th man”.

Wizards: While speaking with Bobtimist Prime recently regarding the Wizards’ dizzying perch of fourth place in the Eastern Conference, as well as their back-to-back pastings of the Celtics, I literally forgot this team had started 0-5. Just for a moment, but I did forget. A 20-12 record since then (a record begotten partially by the Wiz not immediately dismissing Eddie Jordan at the first sign of trouble). When they make their Arenas-aided run through the playoffs, they stand an excellent chance of being the most successful rising-from-disaster DC team.

United: Dreary days in April, as they got off to their first 0-3 start ever and they extended their longest losing streak ever. As we all know, they went on a tear and made the playoffs. Sure they fell a little short after that, but they…made the playoffs.

Mystics: They had a brutal winless start as well, but theirs was 0-8. Eight straight losses to start the season and they still very nearly made the playoffs on the season’s last day.

Looks like a theme. Or a pattern. Start slow, struggle, finish strong, surprise people (or almost surprise people). Everyone else had done it. The Caps will too.

'Tism Such as We've Rarely Seen

We’ve already noted the surging ‘Tism levels that were observed in the week leading to the Miami game. The surge has only grown since then. To put it in scientific terms (since all of us took science in high school, and possibly college, and at least one of us loves the Sci-Fi Channel), if the everyday background level of ‘Tism in the DC area was physically represented by, say, a football (perhaps a football gracefully falling into the waiting hands of Chris Cooley in the corner of an end zone), then the week-prior-to-preseason level would be a wheelbarrow full of such footballs. The current ‘Tism level, then, would have to be represented by enough footballs to cover the continent of North America in a layer of synthetic pigskin 20 feet deep. Where are these unquenchable vibes coming from? Let’s review.

Admitted-and-reformed optimism hater Mike Wise goes so far as to call the Skins’ victory an exorcism, presumably one that banished all demons ever encountered who wore ridiculous wings on their helmets. T-Boz continues his return to form in urging us all to ignore any nagging negatives and embrace the cold, uncompromising, utterly objective 2-0. Did he really invoke 1991? Yes. We’ll keep it at that…for now.

Wilbon scores big points for highlighting the staggering early season success, basically saying the Skins have found the formula to go undefeated, and scores even more points for referring to the Giants as “laughably pathetic.” We’d also add “pathetically laughable” and “imminently self-destructable.”

The Washington Times is already bringing on the expectation-exceeding angle. This sounds familiar, wouldn’t you say?

How out of control is this rapidly spreading wave of ‘Tism? SI.com, never a bastion of Redskins-loving, features Jason Campbell in the first slide of its Week 2 photo gallery, showing us how big of a deal it really was to go to Philly and beat the Eagles, who were crowned as NFC East champions by experts too lazy to think of another team who could possibly win the division. Dr. Z, who himself has recently shown a distaste for optimism-hating, ranks the Skins as the seventh-best team in the NFL (though he does need to re-think that #3 rank he bestows upon the Tank-Johnson-signing Cowboys).

That’s a helluva lot of optimism, and while 2-0 may be a prime catalyst, there’s more going on here.

United: in the playoffs, on track for yet another title.

Nationals: “hurting someone”, as Manny said they could. Mark the Mets as hurt after dropping 2 of 3 in pathetic, non-competitive fashion. The beauty of 2 of 3 cannot be understated, as the situation simultaneously hurts the Mets as they grasp to hold their lead in the NL East, and the Phillies, who need New York to lose every possible game as they try to catch up. Thus are the Mets left less confident in their lead and the Phillies left wishing there could have been more ground to gain. Yes, one of them ultimately has to win this thing, but that doesn't mean they should be able to enjoy it.

Capitals: suddenly wondering where to put all this prime talent. Backstrom in the center or on the wing? Kozlov on the first line or second? 'Tism cannot be contained within the walls of Kettler. Ben Clymer feels it, and we couldn't be happier, since we know how much he loves our piercing and insightful questions.

Wizards: Wait until training camp. It's going to be glorious.

Bask in it, people. Like a total solar eclipse, optimism such as this just doesn't happen that often. And like an eclipse, don't stare directly at it. Just drink plenty of 'Tism-aide and enjoy the ride.

Look Who's In the Playoffs

We don't write about the United very much. It's not that we don't like soccer or anything nefarious like that. It's likely more that we admittedly don't know much about the intracacies of the game, or the details of the United depth chart. In short, we don't write often because we don't want to look stupid like posers. The United are undoubtedly deserving of respect for their place as the lone DC team to have had consistent, long-term success.

With that in mind, let's look at the newly playoff-bound team and the optimism-hating they've had to endure at times during this season. Two key moments strike us as telling. First: the panic in some quarters after an 0-3 start. This April 29 hand-wringing (and needlessly sarcastic headline) seemed to us to be the most egregious example of reactionary pessimism and desire to surrender since, well, April 23. The implication seemed to be that the United didn't have it any more, that, given the losing streak that stretched into last season, they were done and it didn't matter how early in the season it was.

Optimism-hating incident the second: following a predictable surge by United through the early summer, they laid a dud in Salt Lake City. Not a cause for concern. Here we had the predictable blather about how bad Real Salt Lake was and how could the United possibly lose to them and look so listless etc, etc.

How appropriate, then, that the team put to rest concerns from both instances in one game, clinching a playoff birth against the very same dreadful Salt Lake team to which they lost in June? Can RFK possibly hold any more remarkable turnarounds this season? Will the aging monument to DC sports excellence collapse under the weight of 'tism before it can be (eventually) demolished? Not only that, there is now a healthy margin between DC at the top of the East and New England in second place. It's all the more remarkable since we might reasonably implicate the Revolution as cheaters by association, which is to say name-sharing.

In all, yet another example of why to avoid reactionary pessimism. That goes for all our teams.

MAO of the Week 8-31, and the Nats are Back

As we unofficially close out the summer, and as clutch Ryan Zimmerman and the Nats close out the Giants for that desperately needed series win, we present a late Manny Acta Optimist of the Week award to all those who ever, even briefly, believed in this maligned baseball team. Back in those dark days of April and early May (we all remember 9-25), when it was easy to pile on this team (and many did), it was equally as hard to think or say anything positive. But to all those who did, and more so to all those who dared to be part of the 25,000/night to cheer the Nats, this pre-Labor Day MAO of the Week (summer?) is for you.

Maybe on May 11 you guranteed to somebody (as we did) that the Nationals would not lose 100 games. Maybe that somebody laughed at you (as they did at us) and even proposed a wager to try to take advantage of your blind homerism optimism (as they did to us). Maybe a few weeks later, as the wins and 'tism piled up at RFK, you saw something more than a 120-loss team taking shape, and credited the ultimate font of optimism, Man Act, and called for his instant recognition as Manager of the Year.

During that rough little strech in late June, with teams like the Tigers really pounding on our fragile team, perhaps you found something nice to say, even during a, say, 15-1 deluge. Maybe you got your necessary shots and traveled to Baltimore to outcheer Charm City's finest during a sweep of the soon-to-be-historic Orioles. All of you can tell your future generations, "I saw that team lose to the Nats before they lost by 27 runs." Doing our own piling on for the moment, now that they've been swept at home by the team they did not want to exist, crushed by almost four touchdowns, scored on 11 times in one inning by the worst team in baseball, and no-hit by a rookie 23-year-old,can anything worse happen to the Orioles? This is not a rhetorical question. We would really like to know the - even hypothetical - situations in which Ballmer could be humiliated again. We're running out of scenarios here.

So this MAO's for you, 'tism-spreading Nats fans. Just a few wins away from clinching <100 losses and, once again, in fourth place.

To the specifics of this series against the Giants, was it needed or what? Not that we at the DCO ever had a doubt that the Nats would turn it around, even during those blown-save, big-blown-lead debacles out west, but it was getting....slightly more challenging....to feel 100% optimistic. All that was wiped away, though, by last night's masterful game (perhaps the most pefect game I've had the pleasure to attend this season), and today's triumphant return of Matt Chico (dare we say we knew it would happen?) and the sure glove of Nook Logan plus even more sure bat of Zim. The only blight on those two games would have to be the robbing of Teddy R. of his first-ever Presidents' race. DCO knows why. Is there any doubt? Who was, coincidentally enough, umpiring first base, with a clear view, and thus influence of, the race? Why our buddy Hunter Wendelstedt. This known optimism-hater had the gall enough to toss Manny from a game back in July, so he is certainly not above denying Teddy his due. Wendelstedt was also seen to be conspiring conversing with Giants' 1B Ryan Klesko on numerous occasions in the innings prior to the race, so Klesko's involvment in all of this cannot be conclusively denied.

It's been slower than usual here at DCO for the last couple of weeks, but we'll get the 'tism blazing again in the coming weeks as the Redskins and their rejuvinated first-string offense and resurrected suffocating defense get rolling, the Nationals look to ruin sombody's NL East dreams (whether those dreams are for first place or fourth), the Caps get ready for a return to the postseason, the healthy Wizards gear up to settle scores after one of the most freakish injustices of all time, and the United, with their own stalwart defense, prepare to add another banner to the wall at RFK.

Initial Panic and a Call for Calm

In a confounding swing of the ‘tism pendulum, it would seem that admitted antagonist and optimism-hater-in-recovery Mike Wise is in the process of trading places with two-time MAO of the Week winner Tom Boswell. The telling evidence can be found in each’s assessment of the Redskins’ 14-6 preseason victory over the Titans on Saturday night.

We’ll start with Boswell’s column, written as he inexplicably continues to ignore the surging team playing in the Redskins crumbling old home (actually, we should probably say surging TEAMS; see, we still pay attention to the other footballers). This rather depressing entry into Boz’s portfolio reads like a pre-season Redskins’ surrender. It’s the kind of all-hope-is-lost-right-off-the-bat reactionism we’ve previously seen elsewhere.

Frankly, we expected more from Boz. Every time he seems to be letting a little light of ‘tism into the conversation, he shuts the door with a flood of negativity (we’ll hold back on “optimism-hating”). He says, “Yes, it’s only one meaningless preseason game” (yes it is) then follows that statement with, “…it’s probably not too early to start worrying” (yes it is). He essentially attributes the dominance of the Redskins’ starting defense solely to the absence of super-QB Vince Young. Apparently, Young alone would have shredded the ‘Skins secondary and “no-show” Sean Taylor. He would have run straight through the highly effective Laron Landry and London Fletcher.

The key omission on the not-playing topic, of course, was how a healthy Chris Samuels would have picked up some of those missed blocks Boz bemoaned, or how a playing Clinton Portis would have added the necessary flair to the running game to get Ladell Betts past those six yards on four carries our suddenly ‘tism-disliking (not quite hating) columnist seemed vexed over. Such things clearly would have led to multiple Redkins' offensive scores, taking one less arrow out of the Quiver of Knee-Jerk Panic Boz apparently has slung over his shoulder. Speaking of those injured Redskins, there is a place for them in the column as well, framed as yet another preseason disaster, even though such injuries have already been proven as unworthy of our panic.

To be completely fair, Boswell comes around a little towards the end, praising the Redskins’ “energy” and the stoic play of Todd Collins (even though early in the column he derided such late-game heroics as meaningless because of the usual “third-stringers-and rookies” circumstances). He refers to the victory as a baby step, which is kind of nice, but it’s still hard to get past the overwhelming sense of (unwarranted) dread oozing from every paragraph prior.

Mike Wise, on the other hand, presented a change of pace as refreshing as a lime popsicle (I’m eating a lime popsicle). From the man who earlier this month confessed to getting a kick out of “contributing to the insecurity of any team’s core fan base” came a column urging, of all things, patience. Patience with Jason Campbell (“let’s not be rash” he said; are you listening, Tom?). Patience with the pass protection/run blocking (putting Chris Samuels injury in the proper frame of reference, again!). Wise spent a good deal of the column’s space dealing specifically with Campbell’s past successes, and his continuing drive for self-improvement, which is balanced nicely with his refusal to get down on himself over a rough performance.

Campbell’s level head and bright-future-gazing attitude come through near the end, as he declared that some of last year’s debacles “happened for a reason” and that they were merely meant to “prepare us for something greater.” Regular DCO readers will have no trouble figuring out what something greater is.

What does all this mean? That the universe is being torn asunder because out of nowhere Mike Wise is semi-embracing ‘tism and Thomas Boswell appears to be shunning it in the same way he is suddenly shunning baseball columns, his true love? Partially, yes. But in a more important sense it means that (here it comes) for now we should mold our attitudes towards this initial preseason game after those of Mike Wise, and drop the Boswell-like panic-mongering like memories of a 5-11 record.

The Best Fourth of July in 231 Years

The Nats ran over the Cubs 6-0, silencing annoying Chicago fans in the process, with electrifying performances from Matt Chico (will he ever give up another run?) and Dmitri Young. DC United won again and completed their climb from the bottom of the East to the top. We learned that elite center Michael Nylander turned down more money from Edmonton in order to come to the Capitals, putting a dent in that "good players don't want to come to Washington" argument. The region was aflutter as the AT&T National geared up for its start tomorrow, bringing PGA legitimacy back to DC. In all, it's hard to argue that, in a close finish, this was the second-greatest July 4th of all time.

Young's magnificent performance can be seen as a rebuttal to a pair of suspiciously similar articles by Thomas Boswell and Mark Zuckerman. Their pining for the departed St. Alfonso Soriano was a little disappointing, especially coming from two Manny Acta Optimist of the Week award winners. Virtually ignoring the renaissance that is Young, they long for a man with a batting average 30 points lower. Why not write about what the Cubs (and their fans) saw that they were missing: a coherent Plan for long term-success, one not burdened by eight year, $136 million contracts. A Plan unhindered by a crusty manager with a love of temper tantrums. A Plan that does not carry the burden of 100 years of losing tradition. A Plan that exists beyond one offseason of soon-to-be-in-vain free agent spending.

The words from Boswell that may hurt the most are: "...[Soriano] reminded his former team of what it no longer has -- the charisma, firepower and confidence of a superstar." These words couldn't have been more incorrect after seeing Dmitri deliver his fifth-inning grand slam. Let's go down the list. Charisma - Nats fans love Dmitri. Firepower - big 4-run blast, with a double and single to boot. Confidence - after an IBB to face him, likely thinking him a fine candidate for a double play, and after falling behind 0-2, Dmitri was unfazed and jacked one. Tom, Mark, we expect full retractions.

As for the United, there can be no doubt that they are fully back as an elite force , going 7-1-2 since that early season unpleasantness. Who's going to stop them?

While hints of worry may have crept into the minds of Caps fans yesterday and today as the we-saw-him-first crap storm came out of Edmonton, it seems ever-likely that nothing will come of it, and Michael will be serving up assists for Alex all winter (and spring and possibly summer). As the all-time greatest attorney Lionel Hutz might have said, "I'd like to refer to the case of Finders vs. Keepers." Michael stays here, and the Oilers can continue to make ill-advised trades.

Finally, we have big-time golf again. This no doubt sticks in the spiteful craw of noted DC(and probably optimism)-hater Eric Kay. It seems as though "America's sports arm pit" (hey, that's clever; almost as clever as "Kay's Korner") is a fine place, in the eyes of one of the greatest athletes of our generation, for a PGA tour event.

Yes, it was a great day.

The First 100

This post is our 100th since we launched back on March 28, a relatively modest achievement to go along with our (to this point) relatively modest success. In this brief time, we've tried to cast the bright light of optimism on such things as sickeningly unjust injuries to playoff-bound teams, franchises dealt a bad hand who are trying to climb back to respectability, and teams who just flat out could use some optimism. We've also tried to refute optimism-haters whenver and wherever possible, whether they be based locally or elsewhere (yeah, he claims he's from Bethesda. He's still a jerk).

In a celebration of sorts for our 100th post, we take a look at the overall picture of several DC teams and their (surprise) blindingly bright futures (and in some cases, presents).

Redskins

We already know how the draft went (brilliantly, for those of you who don't want to click the link). We also know how they were intelligent this off-season and didn't indulge in the usual orgy of overspending. The (relatively) minimal turnover, especially in the coaching ranks, plus a schedule that should not be (in theory) impossibly difficult, a healthy lineup featuring what should be one of the most feared backfields in the league, and all key players reporting to camp without incident equal big things.

Nationals

We've commented on them more than any other team, partially because it is baseball season and partially because their leader is so in line with our thinking. Manny Acta lives optimism, and brings it to the field, the clubhouse, and pledge-your-allegiance commercials during Nats games.

Of all local teams, this one could have the brightest future, despite their current situation. With The Plan churning along unstoppably, and with a present team that has played superbly so far this season, one in which they were almost-unanimously projected to be historically horrendous, the future is nowhere but up. As has been described more eloquently elsewhere, these Nationals have faced so much crap (we won't use that horridly overused term "adversity") this year, mostly in the form of cruel injuries to key players at most positions, that often one wonders if somebody has it out for them, and truly means for them to be the worst team of all time. But they won't go quietly, or at all, even as that DL full of players who were supposed to comprise the worst-ever team doesn't get any smaller.

Watch out in '08 and beyond.

Capitals

Perhaps no other local team inspires as much cynicism in their fans as the Caps. We're not sure why that is. Maybe it's the (temporary) lack of a Stanley Cup championship, the well-documented-and-discussed playoff...incidents, or those heavily hyped moody "superstars" who didn't really want to play here in the first place (but eagerly took the big money; who wouldn't?) and who, along with an interesting head coach, left us only with one failed playoff appearance before being shipped off with the rest of the overpriced ballast. Pick any or none of the above, but the end result is a fanbase in desperate need of something positive to latch on to.

There are three obvious such positives: Alex O., Alex S., and Calder-Trophy-winner-in-waiting Niklas Backstrom. Perhaps only slightly less obvious are: the maturing leadership of Captain Chris Clark (30 more goals this season, guaranteed), the emergence of Boyd Gordon as a top-tier shutdown forward, and a deep pool of young defensemen whose time is coming (the franchise is so stacked at the AHL level that it has to translate to success at the NHL level, right?).

While there is skepticism in some quarters over the ability (or desire) of the Caps to add that coveted big-name free agent come Sunday, the immediate reaction should not be panic if Chris Drury isn't donning red, white and blue by sunset. We may feel slightly saddened if Daniel Briere is, since, his point-producing prowess aside, we don't dig the groin-spearing. Still, even though he should probably go someplace like Philadelphia, where we can all keep disliking him in peace (and possibly watch that dislike grow and mature), if by some miracle he ends up in DC, we'll...deal...with...it.

Regardless, there are quality players and trade scenarios out there. One particularly delicious hypothetical situation has Drury going to San Jose, who could in turn be willing to deal Patrick Marleau. Even a slightly above average center like Mike Comrie or Viktor Kozlov would constitute a significant upgrade. Then there's just the matter of finding that elite defenseman everyone is clammoring for. So let's wait and see. Something good can, and likely will, come of this offseason.

Also, the uniform: still continuing to grow on us. Looking good.

Wizards

Flat out, they were robbed this past season. Robbed, perhaps, by that same force that may or may not be conspiring to keep the Nationals downtrodden. Noted optimism-haters seemed to forget that point while kicking the team in their collective ribs as they valiantly struggled against the "Chosen One" and the Cleveland Cavs in the playoffs.

These same optimism-haters failed to regard the Gilbert Arenas opt-out as the non-story that it was, and seem to somehow think that the Wiz are facing some sort of dire dilemma heading into the NBA draft. It's a silly perception, of course, for there is no real dilemma. The core of the team is strong. They were cruising through the East before tragedy struck at the knees. Tweak, but don't blow up, the team and watch the playoff run unfold.

United

Sure, it looked bleak early on. But things have come around nicely, and the United find themselves right in the middle of the Eastern Conference, only five points out of first (with a game in hand). They only recently lost for the first time in two months, and have scrubby Colorado up next tomorrow to get back on the right track (no comments please about scrubby Real Salt Lake).

Mystics

We mentioned that they were looking good at 1-8. They are well on their way to the next Nationals-inspired milestone of 9-25, at which point they will dramatically turn their season around and once again pack 'em in to Verizon Center.

So thanks everyone for reading at one point or another over the first 100 posts. Thanks especially to those who have given our hit counter a boost by mentioning us in blogs or wherever else: Dan Steinberg of the Bog, Chris Needham over at Capitol Punishment, Pradamaster at Bullets Forever, and the dude abides, amongst others. Thanks also to the Caps and their tremendous media relations staff for granting us a bit of legitimacy in inviting us to the uniform unveiling and taking great care of us.

End of Sugary Thank-You Session and of Clip-Show-Like Post.

Go team(s)!

Another DC Turnaround in Progress

Time for a short break from worrying about non-stories and potentially brilliant trades to look at the oft-successful but also oft-ignored team in DC sports. No, not the six-time Attendance Champion Mystics, but the cruising-back-towards-elite-status DC United.

Remember the hand-wringing in late April, when not even a lighting storm could delay the divinely appointed inevitability of another United loss? Well take a look now: the team is undefeated in six games and has not lost since April 28, the latest triumph coming over that ineptly named team from New York.

The run has landed DC solidly in the middle of the Eastern Conference and primed for a Dmitri Young-like rise from oblivion. It won't be long before the East wakes up one morning and finds DC near the top of the standings again, much as Dmitri has appeared from nowhere to grab second place in the NL in batting average. Maybe it's an RFK thing. It must be.

Two-Game Unbeaten Streak is Completely Consequential (so is the name)

We admittedly don't post much about DC United here, and (maybe) shame on us for doing so. However, the team's recent tie-and-win combination, after losing their first three games to the great consternation of some, is worthy of note. It's also a good time to continue our occasional series pointing out that, no matter how bad the situation for a local team, there is always a team somewhere else in much worse shape.

Today it's not so much about on-field performance, but about stupid team nicknames. Sure, the United are currently in second-to-last place in the Eastern Conference (though surely not for long), but would you rather they be in, say, second place with a name as awful as the Red Bulls? While DC shares the name of a prestigious title-winning team, New York (what, no more -New Jersey?) is named after, um, sugar water. Pretty cool (it actually might be, if not for the blatant our-team-is-named-after-a-commercial-product angle. Even the Anaheim Ducks managed to salvage their name by shedding "Mighty"). Next year, DCO looks forward to following the NFL's New York Gatorades and the NHL's New York Propel Fitness Waters. Soon to be folowed by the NBA's Brooklyn 5-Hour-Energy Drinks.

Highly-Touted DC United Begins Season

COMMERCE CITY, April 9 — In case you hadn't noticed, the greatest franchise in the history of Major League Soccer, DC United, began their annual blitzkrieg of the league Saturday in a friendly (that counted) against the Colorado Rapids in the icy, yet consumer-friendly confines of Commerce City, Colorado. It was obvious that the incredible draw of the league's historic juggernaut was used to open the brand new soccer-slash-equestrian-but-not-strip-club arena in Commerce City christened Dick's Sporting Goods Stadium, where cold weather, and unliveable thin air conditions lead the championship-bound United to fall 2-1 in front of 18,806 people, many of whom were legal immigrants.

Speaking of non-Americans, United plans on leaning on the contributions of two Brazillian newcomers Luciano Emilio and the awesomely named Fred. No, that wouldn't be the whiney puberty-challenged teenager Freddy Adu, who was sent to the boarding school-like confines of Chivas USA (based in Utah), where he will flounder, wishing he could again sip the majestic liquid from the MLS Cup. No, this Fred is a Brazillian midfielder acquired in the latest attempt for the fledgling America-based soccer league to gain international notoriety. Given free-reign to sign a foreigner, United balked on dumping cash on a washed up English hair model, instead rooting the dregs of superior countries for their spare parts. Thus, Fred, who was allowed to wear his singular name on the back of his jersey, like Yao, Ichiro or Nene, but not Jahidi, and is expected to do big things. The other Brazilian, Emilio, notched United's lone goal in Commerce City, his fifth since joining, which came at the 78th minute after United had problems with flanking, marking and other soccer-ings.

Next week United holds their home opener against the Kansas City Wizards, who are not missing their top two scorers with knee and hand injuries.